How Do We Stand Up to Fear and Uncertainty?
Fear and uncertainty are the norm in a fear-based society
Fear takes many forms. Often, it’s disguised as uncertainty, trepidation, self-doubt, general doubt, brain weasels, and the like.
Fear isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It has served the human race well in protecting us from harm. But the things we needed fear to protect us from have changed. A lot.
Recognize and acknowledge
We all live in the same world. Yet every person perceives reality differently. As Einstein said,
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
The bravest, most fearless person you know still has fears. And to you, they might be unreasonable. What makes one person braver than another? How do they recognize, acknowledge, and then deal with their fears and uncertainty?
The real issue - suffering
Most of what we fear has nothing to do with the fear itself. What we fear is suffering.
Likewise, uncertainty works the same. When we utterly do not know what is happening, or what is next to come – uncertainty becomes fear. More often than not – fear of suffering.
As Paulo Coelho puts it so perfectly in The Alchemist,
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
Standing up to fear and uncertainty
When we recognize and acknowledge fear and uncertainty – and that suffering tends to be the overarching issue – we empower ourselves to stand up to them.
How? Be practicing practical mindfulness and reason.
Practical mindfulness is being consciously aware and present in the now. It’s a matter of knowing what we’re thinking, how and what we’re feeling, what our intentions are, and how we’re acting. By being consciously aware we become mindful.
Hence, we know our conscious self - our mindset/headspace/psyche self. Rather than be driven by our subconscious or fooled by our ego – we know ourselves.
Life is not meant to be lived utterly safe. We are not meant to be staid and stagnant. Human beings have infinite potential and possibilities.
It’s all a matter of choices and decisions. Fear and uncertainty ruling our lives is a choice. Allowing them to be our dominant experience is a decision.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
This 8-step tool is for identifying and addressing specific fears and related uncertainties.
First, you need to recognize and acknowledge the fear. Getting to the root of your fear is an ancillary of the real issue that can come later. Choose a fear or something making you feel deeply uncertain that you can identify - and recognize and acknowledge it.
Now you can work to address it. This can be done via the following steps:
1. Set aside 5 uninterrupted minutes
2. Begin with 1 minute of slow, deep breathing.
3. Be present and mindful by asking yourself
a. What am I thinking and feeling?
b. How am I feeling?
4. Write/type out your fear or uncertainty. Get as detailed as you can with it.
5. Write/type the worst-case suffering scenario you can imagine
6. Read it aloud. Recognize how the suffering you fear is likely worse than anything that might come to pass.
7. Thank it for protecting you. Then bid it adieu, farewell, bye-bye, or whatever.
8. Finish with 30 seconds of slow, deep breathing to center yourself.
This can be repeated multiple times for the same fear/uncertainty or different ones. But this could be a great way to clear space in your head for logic, reason, and balance.
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