What Do You Feel When You Don’t Know How to Feel?
Feelings are a complex set of emotions
Feelings are made up of what and how. The what of feelings often also ties into thoughts.
I spent a lot of my youth unable to truly feel my feelings.
It’s okay to not be okay
How you feel is valid. What’s more, it is utterly and completely okay to not be okay.
What and how you feel is valid. But you also have a choice as to how long you will allow it to take you down.
You have more power to control your life than you probably realize. What you feel today is completely and totally valid.
What and how do I feel?
How do I feel? This tends to be complicated, mixed, and as hard as it is for me to understand, you’ll not get it at all. Then I’ll have to justify myself, explain myself - and that could degenerate into a whole conversation I’d rather not have.
There is nobody but you inside your head. Period. You are, as such, the only one in there who can think and feel as you do, and act in whatever ways you choose to act…or not.
This is why mindfulness can be so powerful and empowering. Because it makes you aware of what’s in your head, thoughts and feelings-wise.
The problem with the question “How do you feel?” is in explaining it to another. I know how I feel, or at least I have a sense of how I am feeling. But can I really explain it to you?
Release Your Feelings
Holding on to feelings – good or bad – can negatively impact your wellbeing.
Feelings/emotions are completely devoid of reason and logic. They often make no sense whatsoever and can be so intense that they overwhelm every other aspect of your being.
I believe that if more people were mindful of not allowing their feelings to build up without release, they would be far less susceptible to manipulation by the fear-mongers. That, ultimately, begins with you and me.
Releasing your feelings can be cathartic.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
Let’s use mindfulness to get to know what and how you’re feeling at the moment you ask.
Start by choosing a time and place where you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least 5 minutes. Have the means to write down what you experience and a timer of some sort.
Then, do the following steps.
1. For 1-2 minutes, breathe deep. Deep breath in, let it all out, repeat. When you breathe out, envision the release of thoughts and anything but the here and now.
2. Ask these questions. Write down your answers with each:
· What am I feeling?
· How am I feeling?
3. Sit with the answers for two minutes. Feel out the emotions, trying to go as deeply as you can. Write what you come up with.
When you’re done, read what you experienced. Then, mindfully apply thought to the feelings, and see how that impacts you.
Warning – this could be heavy. You might bring up some things you didn’t expect and that could be uncomfortable. Please be aware of this before you practice this applied guidance tool.
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Original cover art artist Fe Mahoney: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaliasInspirations