What is Non-Toxic Positivity and Why Does it Matter?
Non-toxic positivity is a creative force for self-care and improvement
The word “positivity” might set your teeth on edge. That’s probably because you’ve been exposed to all the toxic positivity out there.
Toxic positivity is the idea that if you think positive – and ONLY positive - your life will be the best it can be. It rather blatantly disregards, ignores, or turns a blind eye to anything that’s not positive.
Positivity in this manner turns anything not positive into an enemy. Negative thoughts and feelings should be avoided or abandoned lest they harm you. But that’s unrealistic and unhealthy.
The key to non-toxic positivity is recognizing that it’s not simply thought or feeling. Positivity is an attitude, a choice that you make in any and all given situations or circumstances. And it’s not an either/or by any stretch of the imagination.
The cylinder between extremes
Many elements of the world around you emphasize extremes. Some are benign, some not so much. These extremes come in many sizes, shapes, and forms, both tangible and intangible.
The space between either side of the extremes isn’t the thin depth of a coin – it’s much more like a cylinder. And that cylinder isn’t solid like a coin – it’s flexible.
The other important reason why the space between extremes should be seen as more than the narrow depth of a coin is that you and I mostly exist somewhere between those extremes. And every day you choose in any given situation to face one extreme or the other.
Non-toxic positivity coexists with negativity
Non-toxic positivity recognizes that positivity is a choice. What’s more, it’s not a pure choice that derails its opposite – but rather decides to take a generative versus destructive approach.
Negativity can offer choices you can use to empower yourself (or not), such as:
· Accept and lament
· Reject and lament
· Accept and fight
· Reject and fight
· Give up and give in
There are lots of stories of success that was built off negativity having an empowering effect. Some horrid thing happened that made you change in a way that involved a choice to be bigger, better, stronger, faster, wiser, or whatever.
That’s what non-toxic positivity recognizes. Negativity can, will, and does happen. But it’s not necessarily an ending – it might well be a powerful new beginning.
Non-toxic positivity works with – not against – negativity by presenting potential and possibilities for empowerment to choose for yourself.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
Take a moment to still your mind.
Look at anything that’s bothering you or causing distress in your life.
As you look at that – whatever it is – do you feel good or bad? Are you considering how it could get better – or how it could get worse – or simply that it is?
How can you reframe this? What can you do with your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions to change how you are looking at whatever the stressor or bother is?
Choose actively, and consciously to face towards the positive end of the flexible cylinder regarding this matter.
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