S5 Ep11: Who Are You Competing With?
You’re only competing with yourself
There are plenty of contests out there where it’s all about competing. Yet, aside from such intentional competitions, you’re not in competition with anyone else for anything.
Let me repeat that for those in the cheap seats. YOU ARE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH ANYONE ELSE FOR ANYTHING. Unless you participate in a contest – a race, a fencing bout, any professional sport, a spelling bee, and the like – you’re not competing.
You’re only competing with yourself
Let’s go back to academia. The truth of placement in any given class has nothing to do with competing for grades between people (not in general). The only person you’re competing with when it comes to grades is yourself.
The funny thing is, once you leave academia and move into jobs and “real life” situations, lots of forces tell you both blatantly and subtly about all the competition you’re in now. Except, the truth is, you’re still only competing with yourself.
The lies of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency
Have you been told that “they” are going to take your money, your job, your way of life, and worse?
All of these messages are tied to lack, scarcity, and insufficiency. Here’s the most shocking truth of this. All of these messages are bullshit.
The vast majority of what you’re told is in limited supply, is lacking, insufficient, or is otherwise scarce, isn’t. That’s because most of these notions are completely artificial.
Maybe some tangible things are in short supply. But they can all be replaced by something else with no true detriment to anyone. The intangibles – including peace, respect, love, empathy, kindness, and compassion – are in more abundance than you can imagine.
The only person to be better than is yourself
Human beings grow, evolve, and change throughout their lifetime.
It’s not really competing to improve who you are, how you treat others, and what you do or don’t do. Maybe some people want to compete with their prior self to make themselves even better. That’s not competing with anyone else but yourself.
You can always win this competition, often just by showing up.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
The next time you’re not alone, like in a store, on a bus, walking down a street, in an office or classroom, or anywhere similar and mostly public, look around you. Notice the other people. Note how they’re the same as you. Observe how they’re different from you. Most importantly, become aware of these people.
That done, ask yourself these three questions.
· Am I better than them? (Spoiler alert – no)
· Are they better than me? (Answer – no)
· Am I competing with any of these people? (Again, no)
When you’re out and about in the world, and you encounter other people, randomly or otherwise, guess what? You’re not competing with them. What’s more, you’re not better than they are nor are they better than you are.
Repeat whenever you find yourself thinking about competing with others outside of playing sports or the like.
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