Recognizing and Acknowledging When You Need to Change
Choosing to change begins with recognition and acknowledgment
The other day, I came to a stark realization. I needed to actively change.
As always, it’s a choice of approach and direction for you to make.
I am no longer aligned with the reality of my life when it comes to certain habits and beliefs.
Passive recognition and acceptance
My story.
On a personal level, I had become so comfortable in my friendships and how they worked – that I missed that they changed. They changed without me.
This is neither good nor bad. It’s just the truth. And it’s taken me quite a long time to recognize and acknowledge it and what it is.
Pre-pandemic, I had friends who were like family to me.
Through no fault, no mistakes, and no determinable thing – those friendships changed. That’s because we all changed – and those changes made us different enough that the once-close friendships shifted.
Recognizing when you need to change
Change happens. It’s the only constant in the universe. I am in no way blaming anyone or anything for this. And to anyone reading this who I consider a friend – you know I mean no disrespect, but you aren’t a close confidant of that nature.
But the major realization I’ve had is this - I have not let go of that comfort zone. What does that mean? It means I need to change. The illusion of the old friends who are like family, and close confidants, needs to give way to the true reality that is my life.
This is not a negative
I know that this might read as negative. But it’s not. I’m not lamenting a loss, blaming anyone or anything, or seeking sympathy. I’m sharing that I’m recognizing that while the reality of my life has changed – I need to change with it.
When I came to this realization, that the comfort zone of my friendships has changed – I felt elated. This didn’t create longing, sadness, or any negative emotion. I didn’t feel bad when I realized the nature of the friendships I have aren’t like older, but no longer close friendships. Instead, I felt free.
It was a relief to recognize and acknowledge this. The world changed, and the people I walk it with changed, too. The confusion caused by this false comfort zone has lifted. And that’s tremendous, empowering positivity for me.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
This might not apply to you now but might be in the future.
Write out your answers.
Think about something that you did regularly a year ago. Maybe it was time spent with friends or family, a regular activity like going to a gym, or something of that nature. How do you remember it feeling?
Are you still doing it now? Is this activity what and how it was a year ago? If so – find another to analyze. If not – why not? What changed? Was it you or was it extenuating circumstances?
Now that you know it’s changed have you made changes to alter the impact this had on you and your life? If not – do you need to make changes, and if so – what does that look like?
This information goes a long way toward greater self-awareness and working with rather than against the inevitability of change.
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Original cover art artist Fe Mahoney: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaliasInspirations