5 Universal but Unpleasant Truths About Your Self

Self-awareness is for everyone

Self-awareness is available to and for everyone. This is not something reserved for the super-intelligent, uber-rich, or otherwise privileged. No matter where you come from or who you are you are capable of being aware.

The truth: Everyone is perfectly imperfect

While it is important to be responsible and accountable for your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions - there is a massively important aspect of this notion we cannot ignore.

When you have accepted responsibility and taken on accountability, you need to forgive yourself.

Forgiveness can be difficult in many ways. When somebody does something awful to you, directly or indirectly, it may not be so easy to forgive them.

But in many respects, it is even harder for us to forgive ourselves.

5 Universal Truths of Your Self

These 5 truths are, in no particular order:

·         You will screw up. Plain and simple, you are going to screw up in some way.

·         You will fail. The best-laid plans and all that stuff. Sometimes, you fail.

·         You will be wrong. Nobody is right all the time, whether this involves thoughts, feelings, actions, or a combination therein.

·         You will get hurt. Might be mental, emotional, physical, or all of the above. Sorry, it’s part of the human condition.

·         You will hurt others. Most likely this is mental/emotional and unintentional, but because you cannot control how other people feel, causing hurt happens.

Being responsible and accountable is a first step in forgiving yourself

Straight to the point. When you acknowledge your screw-up, failure, wrong, hurt, or whatever, and do not blame another for it - it clears the air.

Ever do something wrong, and fear what would happen when you fessed up to it? When you did, even if it went badly for you, didn’t you FEEL relieved, and better? That matters.

This is why it’s better to take on responsibility and accountability for yourself. You clear the air and create an endpoint - rather than an open-ended question of doubt and uncertainty that blame tends to make. You might not like doing it, you might feel ashamed, angry, frustrated, or any number of other unpleasant feelings about it, but it is still the best thing to do.

Accepting these 5 truths about yourself might seem unpleasant – but in truth, it’s utterly freeing.

This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:

This tool is like the previous one created for accountability. But this is for recognizing and acknowledging these truths from past

I am a firm believer in the power of writing things down. That’s where this idea comes from.

1.  Make some time. This is a focused exercise. But it should take no more than 5-10 minutes.

2. Breathe deep. Take several deep breaths in and out, to slow your heart and be as fully present as possible.

3. Write and reflect. Take a look back at your life, and write out what comes to your mind immediately:

a.       A time you screwed up

b.       A time you failed

c.       Some instance when you were wrong

d.       Something that happened where you got hurt (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.)

e.       A time you hurt someone

4. Choose one above instance. Write out in detail more about that instance.

5. Reflect on it. Be mindful of it. Consider it, but also make note that it has passed. What did you learn from it? You can write this out or not.

6. Forgive yourself. Just say “I’m sorry” to yourself.

Further steps are wholly on you. For example, you might desire to apologize to someone else. Or write it out and burn it to release it.

This is not easy. But it can be incredibly cathartic.

When we are accountable, we’re empowered. And we make ourselves capable of action for change.


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