Separating Self-Care from Selfishness

self-awarenessmindfulnesslife lessonshealthself-careselfishness
Written By Raine Creative

There is nothing selfish about self-care

We’re told that we should not put ourselves first. Instead, we should put our children, loved ones, family, friends, bosses, coworkers, country, religion, God, and everyone and everything else that you can think of first. Pick the institution, organization, or individual – they’ll all tell you that you shouldn’t put yourself ahead of anyone or anything else.

I am all for generosity. And I love to give of my time, donate to worthy causes, instruct, share, and help wherever I can. It feels amazing to give like that. But if I don’t ever put myself first – before long, I’m suffering.

My health, wellness, and wellbeing are impacted if I do not practice self-care. Whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual – if I don’t take care of my health, who will?

What is true selfishness?

The definition of selfish from the Merriam-Webster dictionary is:

1.       concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself | seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

2.       arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others
(Emphasis added by me)

Phrases of note here – without regard for others and in disregard of others. In other words, with intent. With malice of forethought.

Choosing to care for and look out for yourself is not with selfish intent. Not unless you do so without care or regard for anyone or anything else.

Accountability separates self-care from selfishness

The first step in this process is to recognize and acknowledge the need for self-care. You need to be accountable for how the things you do for yourself – or not – impact your health, wellness, and wellbeing.

By being accountable, you can more easily separate self-care from selfishness. But there is still an issue to address.

When you refuse to spend a weekend with that awful relative or to engage in more than pleasantries with them – they might see your actions as selfish.

You can’t help others recognize self-care from selfishness.

You are worthy and deserving of good health, overall wellness, and wellbeing. Which means you are worthy and deserving of self-care.

Remember – it’s far easier to care for others when you start with self-care.

This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:

Unselfish self-care practices can and should always begin small.

At least once a day for the next week, do one of the following (or something similar)

·         Take 5 minutes for yourself, alone, without interruption.

·         Read at least 1 chapter of a book for pleasure

·         Watch something you enjoy uninterrupted

·         Take a luxurious bath or shower

·         Go for a walk in nature

·         Eat and savor that treat you love

·         Do something for you and only you

Whatever you choose – for 5 minutes to an hour a day, do something that is all about caring for your physical, mental, emotional, and or spiritual self.

Raine Creative
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