Ep. 2: Hey who are you? Self-Identity

Hey nice to meet you! I’m Desiree Jones or Dez for Short and welcome to the podcast that teaches you how to establish your network and maintain relationships both on and off your screen.

Today’s Topic? “Hey, who are you?” (Devil Wears Prada)

When it comes to networking, that’s the first question people want to know. Who are you?

BOOK OF THE DAY!

Reading is fundamental, and it’s very important to continue to make it a habit. If you prefer audio books that’s fine, but something about the touch of a book and the flip of a page just brings solitude to the mind. So with that, and in light of Black History month coming up, today's book of the day is, History of the Black Dollar by Angel Rich forward by Dr. Maya Rockeymoore.

This book highlights several economic moments in history that have helped shape America–slavery, sharecropping, convict leasing, the Little Rock 9, Black Wallstreet, Civil Rights, The Great Recession, Black Lives Matter, and other milestones. One major takeaway that I got from this book is although there were several times of hardship and racism for African Americans, there were still some black millionaires and billionaires in the mix. Several entrepreneurs, inventors, and educational leaders are pushing for equality and building community and some risking their lives for the equality and freedom of black people. So as we head into black history month, do some research. I am living the dream of my ancestors and I will forever be grateful for all the entertainers, athletes, business owners, and community leaders that come before me. And also, just want to point out, networking definitely played a massive part into that impact as well.

So, “Hey, who are you?” (Devil Wears Prada)

Top 2 common questions: What’s your name? Where are you from?

But looking inwardly, it’s important to know who you are as a person first so no one can define that for you. Like it or not, there will always be someone who’s gonna have something to say about you.

In HS & middle school I used to get offended, and sad, and was just trying to make friends and do what I could to be liked but all it did was lead me into more insecurity and losing myself to the identities of others.

The goal has never been to fit in. I’ve never really “fit” in. I can blend but I am my own person and I adapt. But who I am has nothing to do with how you see me. Who I am has everything to do with how I SEE ME.

So the question is, how do you see you?

As for me, I’m Dez. I’m a creative techie who’s passionate about self love, business, and creativity. I enjoy learning new things and connecting with people. I also am on a mission to help young adults and students love themselves for who they are and not for what the world expects them to be. This goes for all adults too. Life’s too short to dwell on the past. Focus on the present and how you can be a better you from now on.

Then it all went left:  So this is a segment where I talk about a situation that went totally terrible but led to the right path.

After graduating, I went through somewhat of  an identity crisis. Like I was involved a lot at Hampton from being greek to being in leadership roles, photographer,  videographer, business owner etc, but after graduating and looking for jobs, getting let go from internships I really had to reevaluate who I am, what my values were for myself, and what my strengths and weaknesses were. Once school ends, that’s when you get into this weird transition where you’re trying to step into the new when everything around may feel familiar. What went right was me really narrowing down on what I know I’m confident in doing while also being honest about where I am. Back in college I feel like I was trained for interviews and doing them well but I really never thought to say what I felt, I just went through the motions because I just needed a job.  When I was interviewing for my current role, I was honest with them about what my major strengths were, what I wanted to learn more about and why I thought I’d be a good fit for the role.

What did you learn?  

We’re always changing and adapting and learning. So who you are today may not be the same as who you’ll be in the next few months or years. But it is important to identify what makes you you and think about how you can portray that or explain that to someone when you meet them.

When it comes to Networking, you have to be confident in who you are and what you bring to the conversation based on you, not anyone else or their expectations. You don’t want to network and find yourself in a situation where you’re faking an identity just to appease someone. That is only hurting yourself in the long run. Real recognize real. Be authentically you and the right people will gravitate to you.

100 Commandments of Confidence

Thou shall KNOW WHO YOU ARE and Respect yourself.

A guy I used to talked to asked me, what will you do if we stop talking? Move on and live my best life (I don’t talk to them anymore, and my life is blessed)

Confidence is knowing yourself  before anyone else gets the chance to project their doubt into you. Don’t receive it.

How do you see yourself when you look in the mirror? What do you think your mission in life is? Do you portray that image everywhere you go? Are you striving to get to that image everyday?

Follow Up Hack

Reminders- Has something you thought about reminded you of someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to? Let that be the entry way into the conversation. “Hey I saw this show, or heard this song, or I was talking to a freined and blah blah blah I thought I’d reach out to say hello. This can segway into starting a conversation or request of any kind to someone.

Outro:

If this resonated with you, let us know! Give us a review, share this with your friends. Make sure to subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and other platforms. I hope these takeaways take you to greatness. It was nice meeting you, thank you for listening and shine bright.